Coding and Decoding: Roadblocks or Bridges to Effective Communication
“Assumptions are dangerous things.”
- Agatha Christie
Roadblocks or Bridges to Effective Communication
Coding and decoding describe the processes in which we ascribe meaning to words, phrases, etc., and use them to either communicate something or understand what someone else is saying. In other words, if we have something to say, we ascribe words that we believe will best describe what we want to communicate. We code our communication based on our experiences and our understanding of those experiences. In the same way, when others communicate with us, we decode the words and phrases they use using our experiences and our understanding of those experiences.
A roadblock is created when we assume that how we code a message will be decoded by others using the same criteria (experiences and understanding) we have. Effective communication is also hindered when we decode someone else’s communication using our experiences and understanding instead of trying to understand their communication through their context.
So, why is this important? Why does this matter? It matters because communication requires understanding. Otherwise, it is just noise. If we cannot communicate in ways that create understanding, then we are not communicating. The other person is not included in the conversation when we code and decode based only on our experiences and understanding. We are essentially communicating more with ourselves than anyone else. This also matters because we will not grow past our own experiences if a personal understanding of others is not included in the conversation.
How we use words or describe our emotions varies. For example, I may describe sadness or disappointment differently from others. But if someone says they're sad and I assume (based on my experiences) that they mean disappointed, I may miss the true meaning of the experience the other person is sharing and may respond in a way that communicates that I didn’t really hear what they were saying.
So, what can we do to create effective communication that creates understanding?
Build a bridge by:
If you are the person speaking:
Consider your audience. Are you using verbiage and concepts that the other person understands? Are you making assumptions about the other person’s understanding that could hinder the message you are trying to share?
Ask questions. It is ok to ask if the other person has had similar experiences and if they interpreted or felt the same way you did about your experiences. Open yourself to understanding how the other person is feeling and thinking about the topic.
Check for understanding. Asking questions or checking in is a healthy way to ensure the message you are sharing is being received effectively.
If you are the person receiving information:
Ask questions. Do not assume. For example, if a person states that they feel sad about a situation, do not assume that they would use the word sad in the same way you would or that “sad” has the same meaning for them as it does for you. Ask clarifying questions to gain further understanding. Give the person opportunities to elaborate on what they are communicating.
Do not respond with your story. Take time to understand what the other person is sharing before jumping in with your own story. It can feel like we are connecting with another person when we share that we have had a similar experience. However, this can also hijack the conversation and cause the other person to stop talking, especially if they understand the situation differently.
Confirm understanding. Share your interpretation of what you have heard and ask if you have missed or misunderstood anything.
Everyone in a conversation deserves the dignity and respect to express their experiences, feelings, and thoughts openly. Building a bridge of understanding between yourself and others is essential for effective communication. When you make the effort to understand their perspective and help them grasp yours, it fosters a meaningful exchange. This mutual understanding not only strengthens connections but also enhances and improves the quality of communication. You got this!
-Dr. Jennie
I would love to hear your thoughts, ideas, or questions. Please feel free to drop those in the comments section below. Let’s talk!
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